Monday, 1 October 2007

oh I wish you could smell this

What we learnt from tonight's telly.
Nigella Express:

God love her but Nigella’s new series is trying my patience. It seems she’s not only a good cook but also a time traveller, seeing as she swanned around in tonight's show on a routemaster although they stopped being used on most regular routes almost 3 years ago.
She’s also in contravention of :

TFL Conditions of Carriage

12.1.3. You must not bring with you anything that:
• is likely to cause injury or offence to other customers

By eating sesame noodles on the bus she's breaking the bylaws. It’s a fact no matter how gorgeous a Chinese dish maybe if you are in a packed bus someon else's smells rank. The sickly peanut mixing with sesame urgggh!

Also can we stop with the product placement for your "salad serving hands".

Also if you are going to pretend to have "friends" get some your own age. 12 year old researchers don’t live in glamorous West London basement flats. Also they would you think you are a right weirdo cheap skate, if you turned up for dinner with some "crunchie" (sorry cinder toffee no sorry we are being twee aren't we "hokey pokey" ) instead of at least 2 bottles of wine.
And lastly what’s with drinking soup all over place, like a demented bus spotter.

Just to be even handed how many times is Jaime going to use his spice shaker before he’s done for product placement? I thought a fuck off stone pestle and mortar was "v' fing" for knocking up "sum of me old pesto" Jaime? (see naked chef series 1-4)

And finally things in Burma’s must be really bad as the BEEB have sent in Fergal Keane to cover the story. A man who’s never knowing under emoted. A man who is also never less than 5 words away from saying “poignant” or “”humanity”


s said...

Close up camera, toss hair, giggle, soup, bus, taxi, bus, close up, toss hair, say something a bit cheeky,
soup, picnic, soup, close up, soup, giggle, make up....crunchie

Made me feel giddy

BLTP said...

I thought the head waggling was almost getting to Simon schamaesque proportions. Also no one smiles that much at whisking. Plus does the rest of her "house" have signs on the door saying which room it is like the "pantry"
also her kids "friends" where so posh they ate cake with napkins!