1/2 Monty

1/2 Monty
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

Saw this outside a bakers yesterday , all this in a butty is either heroic or suicidal. I once saw a sandwich not far from here that had bacon,egg, melted cheese & Black pudding in it and yet was on the "Lite Bite" menu.

new toastie flavour discovered possibly:

Just a quick one: Just made a spinach and feta toastie (recipe 1/2 block of feta, one tin squeezed spinach 1/2 onion found in fridge& blasted in microwave all whizzed  up, seasoned  and toasted to steamy loveliness makes about 4) do you get them in cafes if not why not it was delish.
Anyway has anyone spotted the same sort like Borek or similar?

Disease of the heart or heart disease

Valentine ring buns
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

Yes, it's that day again the annual roll out of Gregg's Valentine day sickly baked treat! This years is a doozy!

One interesting point which may point to wild times round Mr Gregg's pampas grass fringed bungalow, why would you need 6 valentines buns!?

STOP THIS CUPPCAKE MADNESS NOW

Can't remember if I mentioned this before but when the chuff did BUNS become CUPCAKES? I like a cake but all this twee cupcake B*llocks is getting out of hand. I'm not a total red meat eating boorish git but CUPCAKES for a stag do!!! 

A decent baker is a thing of joy but all this aspirational bijou bakers cack is getting out of hand it mimics (mocks) the best french food shops but is oddly not about food it's about as usual being seen, doing the trendy thing, spending money.

The campaign for real buns starts B.O.B.B BRING OUR BUNS BACK !!!

Extreme Pop

Mauby Fizzz:
Saw this nestling on the shelf in my regular grocer yesterday there was not  great deal on the  label other than  "Aniseed" in the ingredient list to let on about it's flavour.
So after a good chilling I had sip and ewww I think we'll file this under "acquired taste". It's very medicinal more so than say Pernod or even Doctor Pepper. The difference with Pernod is there's not even the promise of alcohol to make the bitterness acceptable. It's somewhat like neat Campari but with perhaps more sweetness. It's from a group of drinks from the Caribbean and seems to be from root beer fermented Ginger ale school of pop, but I'm not sure I'd try it again. First time imbibers are warned of its laxative properties according to wiki (thankfully I only managed a few sips!)

More outre pop here

King 'O' Soup returns

Taking the beet route
They had some fresh boiled big beetroot in the greengrocers the other day so I bought them not knowing quite what I would do with them. Anyway today was grey so I made soup I’d hesitate to call it “Borscht”
so Ruby Red Beetroot Soup will do.





Feeds about 4
Cooking time about an hour (mostly 20 mins of simmering)
What you need:
Couple of pounds of beetroot peeled and cubed (mine was already parboiled by the grocer)
1-2 rasher of bacon chopped (probably didn’t need this)
2 small/medium turnips peeled and cubed
2-3 medium shallots chopped
3 stalks of celery chopped
3 cloves of garlic.
2-3 bay leaves
4-6 peppercorns
A big pan of stock (2 litres?) I used some cubes.
Splash of oil.

Garnish: all optional croutons, feta, lemon juice, oil, chopped herbs (I used sage)
What to do:
1.Heat the oil and fry the bacon (not sure I’ll bother with this next time my reading pointed to sort 2.beefiness to Borscht but don’t think it needed it)
3.Add the veg excluding the beetroot and garlic let it sweat down add enough oil so it doesn’t stick.
4.When things have started to sweat down 5- 10 mins add the beet root and garlic and then pour in the water and add bay leaves and pepper corns.
5.Cover and bring to boil and leave to simmer for 30-40 mins (the beetroot and celery need to be soft and cooked.
6.REMOVE THE BAYLEAVES (I FORGOT)
7.Then in batches whizz up in your blend etc.
Because I’d whizzed the bay leaves I had to sieve the pulp which gave it a nice texture.
8.Return to the pan.
9. And re heat then check the seasoning and because I was out of lemon I added a splash of vinegar for tartness and splash of Tabasco for heat.

10.Then serve with an artful arrangement of croutons, cheese and sage (which gave an intense
aromatic waft as you tucked in)

Sad news

Keith Floyd 2009-1943

Not amazed to hear Keith had died although I thought he was older. He obviously a complex character and was probably hellish to be around by all accounts. But many people who do inspiring things aren’t angels and KF inspired me (in part) to start cooking and enjoying food. His early shows were great unlike anything on TV at the time his effect was so great that while it was affordable monk fish was found on our table done as in “gigot” ala Keith.

A lot has been made of his drinking on screen but watch how much they knock back on Saturday Kitchen and Oz Clarke and James May have spent several series stocious in what looks like a slightly farty camper van and they will be getting another series.

Anyway what people like KF bring to life is some joy some excitement some incitement. So I’m off to think about making something good for tea.

Ps. You often see his books in charity shops they are worth purchase as they are a really good read and full of good stuff to eat.

knoppers..... dems tasty

knoppers
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

Sorry I am a child, but I think global brands should always check the profanisaurus before naming any new product that or run it past any group of 14 year old school boys or maybe just me and BLBW!

The most dangerous substance known to man

The most dangerous substance known to man
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

This came with my lunch yesterday, the funny thing is I know someone who reacts to tomatos (or did they've grown out it I think).

Let them eat Brioche 2009 update.

300 acres and a fool:

I fear in this looking glass world as the thunder rumbles and big greasy rain drops run down the window pane that it's not just the after effects of too much beer that's making me un-easy. When sensible papers like the Observer can run uncritical tosh like this it all feels like it's getting out of hand!

It's from an ethical issue of their magazine, ethics in this case being something you buy if your family made a killing selling cling filmed inorganic intensively reared meat and strip mining Africa. Isn't it time all journalists remembered what the best of them know that it's not just not about writing down what famous/rich/posh people say you have to ask the odd question or raise the odd eye brow or do they all think we should listen to the soothing tales of someone who couriers organic cabbages 200 miles so she can "provide the best for them at all costs" for her kids is the way forward?

5 minutes later up date:
sorry I take it all back it all an extended post modern joke as this piece can't be real no serious newspaper would listen to this stream of (unconsidered) consciousness without butting in I see now the whole issue is a satire they've even got their boring wine writer making wine kits to save the odd shilling so it must be a joke.

I'll have whatever Pixie Geldof is having.....

A very shallow dish :Observer food monthly

It’s sad fact that the Guardian/Observer are getting more slight, trite and shallow every day they seem to have mistaken an obsession with celebrity, fashion and vain aspirational shopping for what people really want from a newspaper enjoyable, informed, accessible writing.
Take the food monthly, today we have “the 50 coolest places to eat” you’ll note not the best, worst, cheapest, tastiest but coolest.

You can tell how muddle headed this is, of the places on the list I’ve been to they aren’t even the best places to eat of their kind in London. Brindisa is a fairly average tapas bar in everything except the bill, and the rock and soul plaice is jolly (love the mural down stairs) and the fish is good but their chips just aren’t that nice. As for the Vietnamese place in Kingsland road it’s tasty and cheap but so is the one down the road and the one in Camberwell or the one on Deptford high street. Also there’s no Hungarian cool places to eat nor any ones in Leeds or Bromley. They all seem to be near shops that sell clothes.

Of course the media always think cool is an immutable idea that their definition is the only one that counts but they forget that when I was 6 the coolest place to eat was BHS cafe because they had raspberry flavoured pop, that chips are better eaten sat on a cast iron bench fighting off the seagulls on a blustery seafront, that cool doesn’t just mean “whatever Marc Jacobs does”. I’m not sure that sitting four tables away from the bass player of T’arctic monkeys is going to make a kebab taste any better and lastly any paper that asks models for their opinions on where to eat has left the path of wisdom

PS: Oh and in a straight forward good piece about a top Danish restaurant did Jay Rayner really need to tell us what Valhalla is or are we now to assume that the constant waffle about Jade Goody has forced out a working knowledge of Norse mythology (or in deed anything other than the gender of Lindsay Lohan’s current squeeze) out of the heads of educated readers.

Next week Tanya Gold tells us that posh people go to the Chelsea Flower show (sorry it seems she already done that story)

The proverbial weekend breakfast

All happiness depends upon a leisurely breakfast.
There is no such thing as a pretty good omelette.
You can’t make omelettes without breaking eggs
There’s no use crying over spilt milk
Out of the frying pan and into the fire
The poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
You can’t have your toast and eat it
Brown for bacon red for sausage
Hope is a good breakfast but it is a bad supper
There's many a slip twixt cup and lip
The man who has forgotten to buy tea for the third day running has left the path of wisdom and must walk to the shop without any socks.


Windsor for the Derby- The Egg



The Beastie Boys- the Egg man

looking for a new England?

Handy if your not looking for the new one
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

Are these blessed Isles (well the bottom bit anyway) the only place in world where you can see as I just did someone joylessly eating a crossiant with a knife and fork.

Dali Lunch time news

Surrealist Luncheon club* : hold the mayo I’ll just an apple please!

A nice sunny day so I’m sat in the square watching the local Muslim guys going to their mosque summoned seemingly by the bells of the St Albans Catholic Church. Next to me a grey haired (retired?) looking woman is slowly eating an entire honey dew melon.

In a pool of sunlight on the paving nearby a pigeon walks about for almost minute with crisp packet on its head**.

The pigeon is shoed away by couple of teenagers walking an invisible dog.... oh and my tuna on wholemeal turned out to be turkey salad on white.

* Did a session for Peel in 1983, one single for Cherry Red, bass player now builds narrow boats in Skipton
*Damn my thick fingers couldn’t get to my phone in time.

Kerry Katona's Prawn ring....

Humped Pelican crossing
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

An apology:

I’ve only just recently caught up Half Man Half Biscuit’s latest LPs. As usual I’m sorry I waited as just now it gave a perfectly balanced near karmic moment. My messed up travel plans meant I was short of the odd comestible and my usual green grocer was closed for the Bank holiday. So I trudged shamefaced to Iceland. Now Kerry Katona's greasy larder is no worse or better than other cheap supermarkets, it’s just they seem too obsessed with multi buys. It’s doubtful whether you should one eat of their chicken breasts let alone 12 for the price of six. They also only stock comically huge bottles pop and bundles of "nearly Twixes "strapped together in 10’s probably to stop them running about under the freezers.

Anyway they do sell onions and leeks so I managed a reasonably healthy basket but was still feeling rubbish, when on my head phones came “ on Westminster Bridge” by Nigel and the lads and I almost spat across the frozen pizza and onto the knock off magnum cabinet. I then had to try to queue at the till without too much smirking. I was put in such a good mood I didn’t even mind the woman who pushed in front and then got her kid to fetch umpteen things while we all waited.

I tried sitting in the park soaking up the flickers of sun were having and listening some more but could not stop grinning, so skedaddled home.

So do yourselves a favour get the Doves albums but also some HMHB just don’t listen to it in Iceland, B&Q, Matalan, while playing Yahoo chess or possible on Westminster bridge.

Did I mention the bit were the woman with 6 bags of oven chips and a pot of basic coleslaw gave me a look and then went back to texting?

I’m gonna feed our children non-organic food
And with the money saved take ‘em to the zoo

What the web's been waiting for

I already have!
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

The Cure for all your ills, a rash er statement I've never made this best internet application bar none.

it's hamazing

Update: when I'm sober apologise to Russ who sent this along !!!

Black Forest Watch

Mac MC Update:

Off to chilly jockland for the obligatory cooking with army sketch in MasterChef tonight.
Contestants always seem to make a big deal of this sort thing tonight McPosh Womble Andy was floundering obviously he was less of backpacker than perhaps we first thought used to the "not so rough guide" it seems as he didn't like tins of "standard meat for the use of "and K rations.

It's strange because arguably in Scouts is one of the places where I (and my brothers) learnt to cook. We did cook bits of food at home but fending for ourselves at camp was a great laugh and excellent training. We were fortunate to have a proper leader "Skip" who pulled strings and got us a campsite where we could cook on fires and chop down tree etc.

He also insisted we ate well so we ate cornbeef hash, cooked breakfasts and steamed bread and butter puddings etc most of which we cooked ourselves for our patrol.

On one memorable occasion we had to build a platform 15 feet up a tree and cook a meal there! So a few peckish squaddies wouldn't be that much of challenge you just need to bash enough spuds and make enough custard.

After the field test it was back to the barracks where this time Chris floundered making posh snap for what the programme called officers but I think were NCO's (not that it matters to anyone but the Army).
Anyway this was to my mind flawed "team challenge". Flawed because until now it's been dog eat dog and so to expect contestants to work together is a bit odd (even though it's the basis of professional cheffing)
Sadly Chris wasn't bossy enough and Andy took over but the army boys didn't notice and gave their rather muted approval by banging on table.

Tomorrow it's off to the palace!


"Baking doesn't get any batter than this"

I must introduce and thank my own personal masterchefs whilst up in Yorkshire last week I was fed really well (as usual) by my Bros, who having families have an excuse to bake endless goodies.

Our A made a variety of his famous eponymous biscuits this time half dipped in chocolate. These were an exercise in precision and restraint and went too quickly to photograph. Whilst our S went all Nigellla on us and produced this here wonderfully over top birthday cake (it's on the cusp of camp don't you think ) for one of my nephews .

I'm sure John might have scoffed a little (he's rarely fulsome in his praise) but t'old Gregg would have disappeared in pool of drool... good work fellas!

Lastly Pancake Tuesday:
Are you having Pancakes tomorrow?
If so what to put on 'em lemon & sugar, nutella, cheese, marmite?

Heart Disease ?

Greggs will conquer all.....

Originally uploaded by bltphoto

Scents and the city

I already have!
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

Urban Aromas:
Getting to work can be a pain unless you work from home and even that has it’s downsides I imagine If someone nicks your milk it’s probably the cat and you can’t leave pithy whiny notes for cats (not that they can’t read it’s just they have no shame). But anyway my Journey to work involves overcrowded trains and a needlessly slow bus journeys it’s not the worst journey though but it does have one particular torture a sweet one curiously. As you come out of the “eastern” exit of Cannon st. station there’s a warm blast of frying bacon. This is a full on drenching blast of smell not a distant whiff of Danepak or that dispersed steamy savoury café smell (both of which are good) this is you head in then pan next to the mushrooms and the popping and squeaking fried eggs aroma all fired through a jet engine. Not just a waft of hot ham but your entire head is enveloped in a hot salty bacon gust. It’s so strong you can also almost imagine the smell of crusty fresh cut bread and brown sauce and the warmth of the meal through the slightly squidgy bread......

And yes having had some muesli or some mornings nowt this makes me intensely hungry. This is all made worse by the fact that the source of this hot hammy blast is unidentifiable, there’s no immediate café or snack bar it must be from the canteen of the office block above. It should of course be banned by law for crimes against drooling commuters.

I now that some people favour the world of Aduki beans and mung bean paste but I’m sure such intense savouriness could even make Gillian Mckeith exude a small drop of salvia and the merest twitch of her shrew like nose. It’s like I say a sweet torture.

It’s opposite of the smell of the working men’s club next to our school bus stop years ago which was near the club extractor fan and was suffused with smell of stale sour beer and fags. Or the strangely grim smell of burning mutton that hangs around McDonalds or the sour stench of vinaigrette (?) that Subway reeks off.

Apart from the “ham’ornado of Gammon st. station”™ there’s the evocative floral waft outside Liberties, the crushed veg smell of the market and the sour chill of Neal’s yard dairy’s shop.

So what’s the best smell where you live? Let’s avoid the top of baby’s heads and the napes of people’s necks and stick to geographical scents shall we?

Winter wonderland

Snow Drops & Clumps of John Nettles
Off to Oxfordshire for the weekend to see friends and had an excellent time thanks folks!

And in tribute to all the awards given out here are my nominations for last 48 hours:

Time team comes alive before your eyes panorama of the weekend:

We had an excellent walk on some local hills called "the Clumps" it was an astonishingly beautiful snowy day, clear and sunny so you could see for 10-20 miles all around.

The clumps themselves contain Iron Age hill forts as did every other ridge and vale we could see. The whole area seemed to be full of Christmas card vistas filled with nestling pretty Saxon churches or Norman abbeys. I did like the contrast to Deptford which has plenty of history what with the river, the docks, railways etc. But Oxfordshire's history seems almost geological and the view with the exception of Didcot power station unchanged (if you squint) for centuries. I was looking up the Clumps on wiki and Tony Robertson and the mad one in the hat have already been their which makes sense.

Grand tour of Britain cultural landscape big tick of the winter schedule: Having been to Goatslands or "Heartbeat country" and had some chips in Holmfirth and being born near the original Coronation st I was delighted to find out that Wallingford is officially "Midsummer Murders land"and that half the town has been in the series as extras some of them several times, so much so they have to wear wigs to avoid recognition . Next on my list the Howard's Way coast and Catweazel's hamlet....

Home decoration tip of decade:

To add a hint of "theatre" to any room why not put up a framed picture of 18th century Astronomer. This essential advice is brought to you by Museum Of Art Oxford (well a slightly gushing description of one their exhibitions). I am thinking of going for Tycho Brahe for various reasons chiefly his silver nose not pictured!

(Not sure their other exhibit naked South American woman gets hosed down with high-pressure jet helps with what to do with that dark corner in the hall way though).

"I think you've got too many ingredients on your plate Belinda" aka Masterchef is seeping into every aspect of my life menu of the week:
We had an excellent meal in on Saturday, some delish fish soup was followed for me by the roast lamb with Savoy cabbage, various tasty mashes and a Jus. But also nestling on the plate like a John Torrode fake indignation magnet was what the French (?) menu writer had called a "Cornish Pie". This had intrigued us thinking it might a timbale of veg or some such. But no it was tiny pasty it was delicious, but I fear G&J would have exploded by now.

Having said that why stop at pasties why not have a little chicken & mushroom pukka pie with coq au van or maybe a teeny tiny lasagne with the spaghetti vongole. Food should be fun and it did make me smile.

Gigs I wished I'd attended of the season:

Over at Ms Woo site she's talking about gigs you regret not attending I'm quite fortunate in that I've seen most people I like and the only ones I regret I'd need a time machine to see. But I do wish the Snowdrop Teas had been being served in Swyncomb yesterday. Please do accept that I'm not being the least bit ironic here what so ever, I genuinely love the idea that there are places were people can go to see at drifts of snowdrops (and wolf's bane!), admire an 11cth century church, listen to choral evensong and probably best of all eat home made cakes and drink tea. Sadly the bad weather had meant it was called off doh!

That being said walking in the crisp utterly beautiful woods around the church, checking out rabbit and deer tracks, seeing a hare dash across the snow, the woods alive with rustling leaves as the sun melted the ice, the crunch and squeak of the virgin drifts under our boots was more then wonderful. The exercise sans cake was probably good for me to. Also it pleasing on the way to station to see the sign for "Christmas Common" (as it should be) covered in snow.

If you are Watlington way next week and it doesn't snow again, the snowdrop teas may well be rescheduled but get their early for the pick of the best cakes!