"Sorry can't help you mate"

Fighting with axes like few months ago with dani and tony
Obligatory Julia Bradbury picture.


I am sadly strangely drawn to the searches that lead the lost souls of the internet to this little cluttered corner. Before now it has driven me to poetry. This random list of searches put me in mind of the schedule “NUTS TV” would really like to get away with! They are all true I’ve just taken the odd “YouTUBE” out.
(With a nod to the ever splenetic Mr C Brooker)

Thursday 24th 2008

8.30-9.00 pm: “wot the best hamster food”
(Glamour models in a giant wheel fight over carrots)

9.00-9.30pm: "leotard aerobics"
(Sponsored by Nivea)

9.30-11.00 pm: Sexy British nurses pasties
Strangely compelling 1970’s pastry based sexcom starring Cheri Blair’s Dad and that Johnnie Briggs from Corrie.

11.00- Midnight : Fighting cock chopper
(Late night fun with knives)

12.00 – 1 am: Paula Prick : homemade fun with fire
(no really this might go badly wrong)

1 am – close : Tomas g friends it good si gordon filmy Can kraftwerk Tangerine
(One of the researcher’s mates gets some black leb and some kia Ora in)

Sadly
“HOODED CREEP pictures sea scouts of burton-on-trent” is just a Daily Mail headline
And “youtube lyrics to if the world was made of cadburys you could surf in side a chocolate tube” is just plain weird.

OH and here’s a really great thing what does your Blog look like in German heres what mines like

Fighting with axes like few months ago with dani and tony

Web poem number 12
Fighting with axes
like few months ago with dani and tony
the man inside listen to me carefully
Alcopops that are gluten free
the man inside listen to me carefully
amplifier pink noise
burn-in download
red adair porn

This is the new name for my unconnected random tat posts, inspired by the searches that lead to my site.
I don‘t know whats more scary that someone who will one day vote is looking for gluten free alcopops or tht thankfully in austrailia someone is looking for porn films containg famous oil well fire fighter Red Adair.

Anyway
Here’s some free stuff
I liked these tunes I heard about them from How does it feel to be loved? An excellent club night if you like indie and soul (who doesn’t) it’s the only place other than my flat I’ve ever heard the Supremes followed by Canada by Low.

I also heard these songs by Dawn landes who sound great, she’s worked with Hem and the Earlies so is on the side of the angels . Let's hope the phone company ad men don't get to them too soon.






London Pics :Upper Crust fayre.
Britain’s Leading Beer Writer sent me this pic today, as he rightly points out it contains two of the best words in English language :

Gala & Pie.

He didn’t have time to check if they had any Gala Pie (how do they get the egg…) for sale as that would be a gala pie pie gala……






Things you see on public transport:
A posh city type (woman) was the first to board our carriage at Cannon st, trying to hide it from 2-3 others of us, she pressed the train door button but had a tissue over her finger so she didn’t touch the button.

A guy in his city suit stood sucking his ipod nano and then replaced it with 8 pieces of gum all at once.

A whole family mum , dad, boy (11ish) and girl (8ish) all reading books on angling or fish.

Spam Haiku of the Week:

One in the eye for Cromer:

To be a proper Haiku I think this would need a description of nature but it does contain a season, a place and a description of an action so it’s almost there. I’m not sure of the Fall delights of Hastings, adding a knackered wistful seaside town with the most wistful of seasons could be more coastal melancholy than even Mr “look at that gnarled groyne, isn’t it wonderful” BLTP can stand.


Autumn Hastings: it can also add excitement