Sorry for any inconvenience

Had to put word verification doo dah on as was getting spam almost hourly. Think it's because I'm the last blog not to bother. Sorry if it's a pain.

Not just Spam this is M&S spam...

Spam seems to be getting middle aged:

A few years ago I seemed to get nothing but enticements to see pictures of naked ladies (porn; a young mans fascination) then came money scams (the first job) then it was little blue pills and cheap Prozac (the midlife crisis) and now it all seems to scams involving M&S or ASDA shopping vouchers that or trips on the Eurostar.

What’s next sanatogen, the people’s friend and Shackleton’s original high seat chairs?

Wednesday wonders!

A rag bag of stuff for your perusal!
Spam email arty novel title of the week:
"Agree to be sick Norway! By Geraldine Paxion (out now in paperback) "

Things you hear as you flick through the radio dial:
“pass me grog, where’s me Noggin shirt, where’s me Noggin shirt”.


Nice sleeve shame about the songs.
Sadly these two lovelies are a little ropey so here’s the just sleeve.






























Swedish Blue Grass:
On Monty Don’s world tour of gardens I got to see some real blue grass the other day growing in prairie! As with most blue plants it looks more kinda grey. Anyway a bit of blue grass never did any harm and while we wait for the next Gillian Welch LP, I found this here “Would you cry” by the Blue Eyed Blondes what’s so great is the female singer stunning beautiful voice, the lyrics are a patch ropey but they show promise.


This is simply a good thing to do:
I saw this on the news the art gallery owner Anthony d'Offay's has sold at cost price 725 picture to us. Which is really good idea the super rich in Britain have given up paying taxes , squirrel their money aboard so it’s good to see some doing something positive, apparently they are going to available to see across Britain which is also great.


Nikon we have problem!



I found these excellent messed up pics on flickr next time your camera messes up keep it and post it!






Has there ever been a bad version of Louie Louie?
If you like 60’s Seattle garage listen to Mark Lamar programme on listen again load of big dumb garage bands. Do your self a favour and buy a Sonics compilation you won’t regret it.

Today's news

Spam of the day
Spam being apt for this one as I missread the following “Win a One-Week Stay in Czech Spa for two”
as SPAR NOT SPA, the thought of spending any length of time in a branch of the grim supermarket was bad enough but an eastern European one....

Like father like son?

The disgraceful chanting by Spanish F1 fans of racist insults at Lewis Hamilton is terrible. Richard William’s article covers most of the issues.

One of my concerns is that F1's controlling bodies haven’t stamped on this quickly and my concerns in this are deepened by the fact that the guy in charge is Max Mosley, whose dad was ......

So bright I gotta wear shades

The future's already here:

I got a email this morning from amazon advertising a 10 mega pixel camera for only £80.

Which is great, 5 years ago we bought a 1.8 mega pixel Olympus and it cost £700 quid (the power adapter cost £50 and it took 2 hours to download the pictures using a serial cable)

10 mega pixels is better than the Hubble space telescope!

Having said that I've never taken a picture as nice as the one above.

Whilst looking up Hubble's resolution I found the answer to a jolly question.

Why not disprove all the doubters that the moon landings did happen by taking a picture on the remains of the Luna landers using Hubble or similar?

Sadly I think we'll need the £80 quid telescopes that comes along in 10 years time!

Me Snow Go

It may be just me but I don’t think this lot understand their audience; it’s an ad for a week long ski singles event. I can’t decide whether it’s the plot for a bad romcom, a disaster movie, a bad porn film or just a plain nightmare.

Surely ski holidays are the sort of thing impressively cheery sick makingly organised couples do, you know the sort with ironed jeans, who read travel guides all the time and say they are going “trekking” in Patagonia when they mean “walking” and who always have a brother in Singapore, not single types.

Isn’t the point of dating services to pair people off precisely so they can turn all smug and pack their freshly pressed Levi’s and head of to Chamonix? Sorry that should be Albania; smug “independent” travellers never go anywhere “obvious” like Chamonix they always go somewhere “off piste” as it were.

Also skiing involves a degree of poise and self assurance, it’s bad enough trying not to look a fool getting off a ski lift, but trying to do it and impress half of Europe would be a killer.

Also how do you eat fondue on a date?
How sexy is a smashed kneecap?
And then there’s the bobble hat issue.

It will probably be like when we use to go to “silver blades” ice rink in Sheff, except it’ll be some flash Austrian whizzing about instead of that posey kid from Rotherham who could skate backwards dead good and that.
Sadly, I think I might do what I did then make the equivalent of a couple of turns of the ice and then head off to play Defender in the cafe.

God I’m a misery.

Ps. Isn’t all this just cat nip for that most slimy of breeds: the ski instructor, “what me Angelo the impossibly accomplished bronzed former slalom champ alone in a crap Swiss disco with all these drunk single women (oh and a couple of blokes who couldn’t even get to level 5 on missile command) what were they thinking…..”

Speaking of smug couples here's a gruesome twosome

Build your own Defender console it's easier than you think honest !

You don't know me at all...

whoreporate spam slight return:

Just after posting my last piece the 12 years olds that staff Vodaphone's marketing dept sent me a "service package" on my phone, which is a"bundle of pics and ringtones to funk up your handset"apparently. This one was particularly offensive it was entitled "Hot fresher babes".

Let me count the ways this is all wrong.

1. why would anyone pay more than cost of a copy of "Zoo or Nuts" for a low res picture of a 19 year in a "hand" bra when the interweb is full of pictures of naked women for free?

2. Do these people not have my date of birth, for me to have anything but a passing interest in "fresher Babes" would be just a bit creepy uncle. I am just not rich/famous enough to fancy/go out with someone almost half may age.

3. Is it gender specific? Do female subscribers get "Hall of Residence Hunks"?

4. Why are so many women both at vodaphone and presumably at "colleges" so busily helping roll back the gains made for them by Feminism/ist, their mothers, aunts, grandmothers and the odd well meaning bloke?

5. Just why? you know why? no really why? When was it a good idea when? Tell me that? when? why?

The delightful Miss woo has been discussing the dumbing and stripping down of college students over at her site.

Gwen will we see the back of you?

Number one with a Bullet!

Like most people I get corporate spam and being counter suggestible I can’t but help but find double meanings in it. I regularly get an update from ticketmaster the title of which normally reads “Don’t miss…..add name of act I would rather gouge my eyes out with hot spoons than see ie James Blunt/Katie Melua / Justin Timberlake”. Whenever I see this spam my first reaction before deleting it unread is to add “Don’t miss el divo with a crossbow bolt/shot gun/pit full of sharpened sticks…..

Please reorder quoting code D47

So it was with a great deal of “joy” that I received another random spam from Hewlet Packard (who made but won’t repair my laptop). The missive asked me “to get creative with Gwen Stefani”. What a fantastic offer a chance to “mess up” one of music’s most annoying figures. I was crestfallen however to find it just meant I could print out some of Gwen’s terribly precious arty scribbles. (The fact they are being used to sell ink must make Gwen’s “edgy” childlike musing even more meaningful for her don’t you think?)

It’s a shame I can’t “get creative with Gwen” as I might have got chance to find out why she is so cocking popular oh and maybe she could point out in which parallel universe “No Doubt” could possible be classified as a ska band?

Jules Et Jim wasn't that what dumb and dumber was called in Belgium?

One depressing point about the dreadful Gwen came to light when I was working with some design students recently. Usually I would be happy to be made to look like an out of touch old gimmer by cutting edge aching cool 19 years olds but I was shocked to find that if anything I had more avant garde taste them .They we truly mainstream, they had never seen a French film (not even Amelie!), they hardly read or visited galleries and most tellingly they professed a love and respect for Gwen as the most out there Über cool singer around.

I don’t know fully why I can’t bear her, I think it must be that she’s the queen of “shopping pop”, music that is smoothly blended into ringtones, fashion pages, campaigns for ink cartridges but tries to pass its self off with a patina of street cool.
I’m not really complaining about her selling out it’s more about promoting the idea (in this case mainly to girls and young women) that you can only express yourself by how you spend your money.

Is it just me or does everyone else loath Gwen?

Ps. One last sad note my work spellcheck recognised “Timberlake” but not “Ska” and there my friend goes the world.