Fighting with axes like few months ago with dani and tony Obligatory Julia Bradbury picture.
I am sadly strangely drawn to the searches that lead the lost souls of the internet to this little cluttered corner. Before now it has driven me to poetry. This random list of searches put me in mind of the schedule “NUTS TV” would really like to get away with! They are all true I’ve just taken the odd “YouTUBE” out. (With a nod to the ever splenetic Mr C Brooker)
Thursday 24th 2008
8.30-9.00 pm: “wot the best hamster food” (Glamour models in a giant wheel fight over carrots)
9.00-9.30pm: "leotard aerobics" (Sponsored by Nivea)
9.30-11.00 pm: Sexy British nurses pasties Strangely compelling 1970’s pastry based sexcom starring Cheri Blair’s Dad and that Johnnie Briggs from Corrie.
11.00- Midnight : Fighting cock chopper (Late night fun with knives)
12.00 – 1 am: Paula Prick : homemade fun with fire (no really this might go badly wrong)
1 am – close : Tomas g friends it good si gordon filmy Can kraftwerk Tangerine (One of the researcher’s mates gets some black leb and some kia Ora in)
Sadly “HOODED CREEP pictures sea scouts of burton-on-trent” is just a Daily Mail headline And “youtube lyrics to if the world was made of cadburys you could surf in side a chocolate tube” is just plain weird.
OH and here’s a really great thing what does your Blog look like in German heres what mines like
What we learnt from last night's telly Rough guide…. To beaches. Channel 5 :revived Holiday 83 (or whatever) sadly without Keith Mitchelmore or Anne Grieg. It’s based on the colour supplement mantra of:
I’m independent traveller You’re a tourist They are holiday makers.
Starring Julia Bradbury and Toby Amies, they wandered off to various long haul destinations; if you want to go to a nice beach in Thailand you need to spend an extra £500 on a speed boat and find some “out of the way” “unspoilt” village, so you can pester the “real” local fisherman.
If that doesn’t appeal you can go bloody surf cocking kiting or drive a quad bike over some quiet bit of Moroccan sand. Obviously events over took the show as their jolly sketch about deep sea fishing in Kenya was spoilt a little by the outbreak of ethnic cleansing*! (They did issue a warning over the credits).
On the whole it was ok, it's a shame that with 1000's of miles of coast in the UK there wasn’t a single beach worth mentioning, not even the one on Bute where the water was so still it was like ice and the seals came out and stared at us for what seemed like hours and as the tide ebbed the lug worms squirted water out of their tubes at us and we walked back to the car for some chips and pint of Deuchars Pale ale.
One good outcome is that this should slow the hairy palmed traffic to my blog from whomever regularly types in “Julia Bradbury in stockings” into Google and ends up here. Sadly for Mr Onan of Guildford she didn’t go snorkelling in pair of sheer hold ups!
* That’s the problem with developing countries basing their economies on a fashion based obsession like travel, you are only a dodgy election away from going broke.
Sax and drums and Rock and Roll.. I was watching Pop Britannia on BBC4 over the weekend. It’s a return to form after the bobbins Rock Britannia (sorry Seven Ages of Rock) in fact it almost looks like they decided 7 ages was so rubbish they would have another go, this time with the Beatles and V’Who (oh and another go at Roxy Music).
One suspects that Van Morrison will get ignored again (see Jazz, soul Britannia and Folk Hibernia for nary a mention of sullen Morro) it’s probably why he’s so grumpy!
One thing they reminded me of was that there was a time before the Fender Stratocaster when Hot Sax ruled the world (for good or ill).
Seeing as it's bleak skint January and nothing cheers you up like a big dumb dollop of sax heavy Rythmn and Blues/ Rock n Roll , here’s two super duper stupid servings of it for you to enjoy.
The other is from that short lived and ill fated sub-genre “Neolithic rock music” Brontosaurus stomp by the Piltdown Men (do you see what they’ve done). Sadly mines got a plain cover! I not sure how you dance to it but one suspects Fred and Wilma would know how!
** it's like taking off tight shoes :I've just been reminded it was covered for the soundtrack of the excellent Planes, trains and Automobiles.
Checking my site stats and as usual they are often more perplexing than enlightening.
God love the place but I'm not sure anyone really wants to see "Porn films made in Barnsley"
Can I also clear up an important medical point if you want to cure a boil don't use Turkish delight go here they are right proper doctors and that.
the next selection I'm calling "long dark nights of the soul":
What new levels of depravity would lead someone in City of London at 3am Sunday morning to search for "naked Pictures of Lynne Perrie"! It makes the regular search for "Julia Bradbury in stockings and boots" seem rather vanilla, don't you think?
Exciting day, firstly I was in a meeting with someone who looked like CJ Cregg (Allison Janney) everyone’s favourite press secretary. It was quiet unnerving; my "London CJ" was just as nice as the so called fictional one, very delightful.
Not more than 20 minutes later I almost bumped into Terry Gilliam. This impressed me more than it should. He is after all one of the best ever British film directors and there he was walking past Muji on Tottenham Court road. It was one of those minor coincidences as I had just been looking at a box set of his films. Obviously if this was a true coincidence he would have just been reading my blog!
Lastly just watched an enjoyable programme, “Wainwright walks” on BBC4. It’s just a programme about walking in the lakes, but like most programmes I like more and more, it is just of its self, no side, no angle. The only celebrity is Wainwright, who although a million selling author was a town treasurer and curmudgeon for most his life. The programme features Watchdog’s Julia Bradbury, who is a good choice, being friendly and personable but also seemingly new to hill walking and so has a nice everywoman touch. The true star of the show as they always say is the scenery, The Lakeland fells always look good but this show was really shot well. You just wanted to be sat next to Sprinkling tarn or be just setting out across the heather to tackle another summit. My only gripes are that there where too many establishing shots of Julia, we would see her walking up hill then cut to her walking toward the camera etc. They just look set up and the process of filming gets in the way. There was one long shot where you just thought did they all have to wait whilst the camera man schlepped to the other side of the valley or was the peace of the lakes ruined by “wup wup” of a BBC chopper. One last thing, I don’t know if it’s just Julia’s background or I have been mispronouncing it all these years but all the way through tonight’s show she referred to Scafell Pike, but said it more like Scawfell pike instead of Scarfell pike. It just sounded weird; I can never fully come to terms with these southerners and their long vowels. But anyway vowel complaints aside the programme did make me want to get my mental kink cake out and head for the hills.
Obligatory Julia Bradbury picture.
