Kerry Katona's Prawn ring....

Humped Pelican crossing
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

An apology:

I’ve only just recently caught up Half Man Half Biscuit’s latest LPs. As usual I’m sorry I waited as just now it gave a perfectly balanced near karmic moment. My messed up travel plans meant I was short of the odd comestible and my usual green grocer was closed for the Bank holiday. So I trudged shamefaced to Iceland. Now Kerry Katona's greasy larder is no worse or better than other cheap supermarkets, it’s just they seem too obsessed with multi buys. It’s doubtful whether you should one eat of their chicken breasts let alone 12 for the price of six. They also only stock comically huge bottles pop and bundles of "nearly Twixes "strapped together in 10’s probably to stop them running about under the freezers.

Anyway they do sell onions and leeks so I managed a reasonably healthy basket but was still feeling rubbish, when on my head phones came “ on Westminster Bridge” by Nigel and the lads and I almost spat across the frozen pizza and onto the knock off magnum cabinet. I then had to try to queue at the till without too much smirking. I was put in such a good mood I didn’t even mind the woman who pushed in front and then got her kid to fetch umpteen things while we all waited.

I tried sitting in the park soaking up the flickers of sun were having and listening some more but could not stop grinning, so skedaddled home.

So do yourselves a favour get the Doves albums but also some HMHB just don’t listen to it in Iceland, B&Q, Matalan, while playing Yahoo chess or possible on Westminster bridge.

Did I mention the bit were the woman with 6 bags of oven chips and a pot of basic coleslaw gave me a look and then went back to texting?

I’m gonna feed our children non-organic food
And with the money saved take ‘em to the zoo