Wednesday, 17 October 2007

I love The BBC

The campaign starts here:

On the news they are talking about large cuts in staff at the BBC, there is rolling coverage of various investigation into misleading the public etc.
But let’s get some straight the BBC for all it’s faults is great. The people attacking it are motivated by greed and envy.
Everyone complains about list shows but on the countless “best ofs” have you seen any shows that are made by SKY (there is one exception which I will come back to) or MTV.
The great TV moments people remember come from terrestrial TV and mainly the BBC. SKY and it’s ilk have been going for almost 20 years and haven’t produced a single show I’m interested in apart from the Simpsons which is of course a work of genius but here’s the thing I’ve never watched it on Sky mainly channel 4 and BBC2.

Next on She-mail : the Oxo family

Here’s my point for the BEEB’s critics, what sort of TV would they produce?
Let’s take the Daily Mail 1 or SHE-Mail 1 (or whatever) the programme will go like this:

The Barbra Taylor Bradford season (made for TV movie repeat, no subtitles as they are PC gone made pandering to over indulged minorities)

How much is my house worth this minute! Kirsty and Phil look-alikes race a round Britain in suped up foxton’s minis frantically re-evaluating house prices.

Small indulgences: 3 minute Infomercial for latest Cadbury chocolate body paint.

Water colour challenge (repeat)

How lumpy are my thighs? Working mothers have their cellulite rated by their crying children and complete strangers, hosted by Anthea Turner.

News: This will be a rolling banner of metro style news bought from agencies and just put out unedited.

Is my House still worth enough to pass on to my kids?!
Guildford homeowners beg the tax man not disinherit their IT consultant kids via video links to their holiday homes in Portugal.

“No you can’t come in”: Readers win the right to act as immigration officers for the day!

“They're in the trees!” : Urban wildlife: Alan Titchmarsh uses night sight cameras to spot illegal immigrants creeping towards peoples bedrooms windows to knock gently late at night.

Spitfire flypast:

Diana: Pictures of the late ex nursery school helper stroking orphans heads intercut, with her wedding day and piles of mourners flowers.

Heartbeat ( repeat , but only episodes with Nick Berry, with no stories about abortion or homosexuality but lot’s of Greengrass)

Will have lots of ad breaks and station Indents of homely mothers folding laundry while overfed hubbies are seen laughing heartily in country pubs. No kids TV as it’s pernicious. All content will be sourced from the golden age of TV (i.e. 20 years ago)

Close: 9.45pm
Basically it would be rubbish so much so that the hacks who work for the Mail would never watch it either.

So I’m starting a campaign I’ll work on logo etc
I Heart the BBC. I’ll list the ways it’s great in my next posts.


al_uk said...

You've missed the health products show, you know, sea weed extracts pomegranite juice queen bee wax blueberry alfalfa chlorophyll detox, cellulite removal, dab it behind your ears, look 10 years younger in two weeks, have luminous skin, and the abs of a really works becuase my friend the manageing director of the company that sells it says so, by the way did you know you can get it from the Daily Mail reader's offer site (www.dailym**lreaders buysh**e.html)

Planet Mondo said...

The BBC Can't win. If it put's the fee up people moan - if it has to makes cut's (staff and quality)the same groaners still moan. But look at ITV (if you can manage more than a few minutes) and see how it's turned into 'Take A Break' TV and they've just given up on Friday nights.