Wednesday, 16 January 2008

Romping Axe Fans

Words only ever used in the papers:

Romp: Strangely when the tabloids are reporting on a “sex scandal” they often refer to the couple (or more!) as “having a Champagne fuelled all-night romp”. Romp is such strange term it always sounds a bit “Benny Hill”. I always see a footballer (his trollies around his ankles) shuffling after some giggling WAG, that or they spend the night bouncing on the beds, after all the only other use of the “romp” is in “romper suit”; something babies wear!
Also “fuelled” is strange usage it’s rare in day to day life we say “I had big night last night fuelled by London pride, ready salted McCoy’s and a cheeky Macallan at closing time”.. And as for sex being a scandal I blame the puritans,




Signalled: as “in the C of E signalled the government that it doesn’t mind the repeal of the blasphemy laws” how exactly does it “signal”, by semaphore, by very pistol, or Morse code, or maybe fan language* like in 18th century courts or maybe the Church got their mate Shelly to tell Gordon’s mate Gary that it were ok if people said god was a bit of cranky git!




“Mystery” Girl/man”: as in “Mark (posh boy looks like a lawyer) Ronson left an exclusive central London nightspot last night arm in arm with a Mystery girl”. Isn’t “mystery girl” a bit Nancy Drew, she’s not a “mystery girl” it’s just that the Metro doesn’t know who she is yet. Oh and Nightspot? Isn’t that another name for acne?





Axed: This is used instead of “cut” when describing people being laid off/sacked by companies as “EMI axe 1,000 jobs”. I know it sounds more dramatic but it’s quite subtle how the paper mix and match the words, nasty job cuts they want too vilify are “axed” were as “cut” “slash” comes out if the approve of the measure i.e. “Tories to cut benefit to benefit scroungers”


Revellers: I’ve mentioned this before but honestly when was the last time a “revel” was held in Britain 3-400 years ago! I mean Revels are rather odd sweets aren’t they. No one has ever said oh “we couldn’t get into the pub it was filled with revellers”.


*I’ve just looked up fan language and it seems designed to make the already tricky job of communicating with the object of your desire that bit harder. Also has anyone ever been to London’s most obscure museum over in lovely Greenwich?

6 comments:

Planet Mondo said...

Insider/Friend/Neighbor - the rent a quote, shadowy off stage snitch ever ready to compound the controversy . Possibly looking like the 'Soothsayer' from Up Pompeii.

Clair said...

I love the word 'holidaymakers'. Other words you only see in newspapers are 'love rat', 'love nest' and 'busty mum of three'.

Planet Mondo said...

Can I add 'blackspot'. Somewhere somethings happened at least twice. I've only ever read this word - never heard anyone say it, but if people really do, it's probably because they've read it in the papers.

Planet Mondo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sky Clearbrook said...

Slams/Slammed - as in Lily Allen slams Cheryl Tweedy. What does this mean??? Does she slam her head in a fridge door?

Hubby is another one which grates.

BLTP said...

"slams" is a very good one and they never use "Wifey" do they