Thursday, 5 February 2009

Eating without relish

Step away from the fork lady?

I was having tasty salady lunch earlier and a couple came and sat on the table next to me the woman had ordered an Indian chicken dish with rice. When it arrived she spikes a lump of chicken and then froze it in mid air while she picked up the squeezy ketchup bottle and gently eased a small red currant sized blob of sauce onto her tikka. She then careful chewed the morsel. Nothing that odd she was just seeing if the sauce was ok but then she did it again with each nugget of chicken. For a particularly large lump she had take 3 bites which necessitated 3 tiny squirts one after another. It was all I could do not to grab the bottle squirt it over her plate. God it was annoying she ate like small mammal as well with no relish (pun intended) as if it was poison he companion didn’t seem to mind.

It reminded me of a colleague who use to eat a sandwich by pealing back 2 mm of Clingfilm for the crust and then slowly gnawing away , abrading the eating face with the tiniest bites holding the sandwich in two hands like harmonica each butty taking at least 10 hours to be slowly eroded. the fact she wore fingerless gloves while eating didn’t help either.

I know this all fairly intolerant but you know it’s like those people who are proud of eating a marathon in obscure ways “well it’s funny right me and Mam share one coz she likes nuts but I only like the bottom bit, so I puts it in the fridge and eat the bottom toffee bit and then when Mam comes round she has the nuts arrrgghh”

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