Friday, 28 September 2007

Taking the Pith


Getting the Juice flowing
Picture the scene:
It’s late Thursday evening 6:50 ish in a plush but soulless corporate meeting room, around a table 7 people are bathed in the bluish light of a power point presentation. Their expensive suits are starting to feel gritty, they are all regretting that last cup of burnt coffee, but they can’t leave until they have “that” idea, they’ve seen the market research and it tells them everything and nothing. The head of section is desperate to head off to a golfing city break. Just then the second most junior drone in desperation pipes up “well, why don’t we add a hint of "Orange”. Eureka!

In the world of consumer products food in particular the “Orangification” of things, is the last gasp re-vamp of any company. Once you’ve made it “king-size”, and then “mini”, when you’ve made it “lite”, “reduced the salt by 55%”and given the world the “planet” version or if it can’t turned into a breakfast cereal, a chocolate biscuit or one of those frozen milkshake doo dahs MacDonald’s sell, the fateful day will come when it get’s a squeeze of orange.

The latest product to “pipped up” is Coke, but Kit kat, Twix, wispa, aero etc have all been “Citrused up”. It’s not just comestibles one of the first things the towering genii behind changing “Jif liquid” to “CIF “was to add a hint of Orange “to brighten and refresh your room”. The Mighty Mr Muscle shipped in Jaffa juice to clean your windows and of course in order to sell French phones to British people a whole telecom company got zesty. One can’t but help but think this all stems from when we shipped in a bunch of ruddy yellow German Dutch chinless wonders to run the country 300 years ago!

Honourable exceptions: Kurious Orange.
Terry’s chocolate orange (plain):
a design classic and still a fancy treat in my house.sunday update Thanks to K for pointing out my foolish mistake.

Orange matchmakers: the curiously old fashioned chocolates from a time when a bunch of flowers and box of chocs was seemingly every woman’s ideal gift. In the “olden days” young girls after choosing their crockery pattern also had to settle on their taste in chocolate (for life!) hard or soft, plain or milk, every mum had one. Match makers I fear were never in the same league as Terry’s All Gold or Black Magic (Satan’s favourite after dinner treat?), although they had their charms especially the sliding box with it’s 3-4 compartments and the pleasing nubbly texture. I fear they weren’t the best seduction tool being the sweetmeat equivalent of twiglets. They didn’t even provide a “you start that end I’ll start this end meet you in the middle lady and tramp moment” being too small unlike liquorice boot laces, chocolate fingers or say curly wurlys!

So on the whole in most things in life from sun dresses to suntans, chocolate to oven cleaner if they get the citrus press out just say no.


Make you own Orange man!!!

3 comments:

Ex-Coventry Blogger said...

It's Terry's Chocolate Orange, actually, and Fry's Peppermint Cream. If you're called Terry Fry, like my Dad, you get called 'Choc' at school...

BLTP said...

AHH I knew it looked wrong the moment I was scanning down after your message it came to me How stupid I wll change forthwith, what an idiot. RE: you Dad's name I heard an excellent quote from Wodehouse the other day "there's alot of rum work done at the Font"

Personal Trainer Lady St John's Wood said...

It's all so true! Everything has an orange version now doesn't it - not that I'm complaining!