Over to Lauren who’s talking to a cow

What we learned from this weekend’s telly.

That pop festivals are better in real life than on the telly

Watching some of the BBC’s Glastonbury shows I was surprised by how limited their coverage was. The seemed to show 1 or 2 songs from certain artist repeatedly, quite large acts didn’t seem to figure at all.

Q: Also if Glastonbury is so vaunted for the breadth of the entertainment on show, how come none of this get on TV other than a few glib “here come the freak clips”? Why not have an evening of comedy or shoot the circus arena for the Saturday BBC1 variety slot etc?

Q: Also why not see more of the festival from the fans point of view?

Q: Also why do all the special acoustic sets in the studio when there’s 20 bands at anyone time playing live outside, they are usually not that great, it seems perverse.

Q: What’s all this cock about this year being the year of hip hop there’s been hip hop acts at Glastonbury before (maybe not head lining) but you’d think nobody in Britain had ever heard any Black music if you’d listen to Jay-Z , Zane Lowe and crew.

Q: Also if it is an arts festival where’s the critical distance?
We get it at the Edinburgh festival and the Cannes film festival, we even get it on the fotty but every single act was “fantastic” “brilliant”. I’ve seen lots of ropey bands at Glastonbury but Edith Bowman seemingly hasn’t? I do think that the presenters are compromised by the cheerleader role that and their chumminess with the organisers.

Westwood should have a kid’s show.
Every time I see the guy I’m gob struck with his total full on schtick, surely he can’t be like that all the time? How does he interact with people who don’t speak fluent nonsense? But I do think 4 years olds would entranced by him “look, look mummy the funny old man’s talking about shoes again look, look....”

Mark Radcliffe is slowly turning into John Peel: not only has he started to look like him , but also dresses like JP and his tv style is the same it’s faintly scary.

Q: How many times can Edith Bowman interview her boyfriend (him from T’Editors) without it being totally pointless and self indulgent?

Other stuff.
Motty’s last stand: I was going to give him 20 minutes for old time’s sake but he managed to start his commentary with a barrage of tedious boring stats, so on went five live.

Dr Who Vs Mangy Man
I Player watchers spoiler alert!

Davros has come back how cool is that? He was always very scary and creepy all that rubbery skin and his weird blind sockets but with an artifical eye thing.

Me and my mate JC made our own Action Man villain called “Mangy Man™” based on Davros; he was a poor fallen soldier whose back was broken (we hit him with an hammer after putting him on a fire and the elastic snapped!). Sadly nailing his legs back on failed to restore his mobility so we dripped molten plastic crisp packets all over him and mashed his head up a bit with Stanley knife and then built him a sort flying armoured cardboard wheel chair with machine guns and rockets engines at the back. He was dead ace I think he had a hook or was that “Mighty Coalhead™” whose space suit saved his body from the flames of his burning HQ but his head shrivelled to lump of coal. The “Mighty Coalhead’s™” his special powers where surviving being run over by JC’s Dad’s car and being chucked in his fetid septic pond.... I blame the asbestos JC’s dad kept in the shed.