Saturday, 17 March 2007

Friday Lucky bag

So let’s try again, if history tells us anything it’s that you should always do your work in Word and save it rather than spend an hour on your blog only for it to crash and you loose all you stuff just when you try to post it!
Anyway anyway , the sharp eyed of you will have noticed that this bit has changed its name. Even though this edish is coming out on Saturday it will now be called “Friday lucky bag” this is because it’s taken me a week to remember they were called lucky not variety bags! It had been worrying me all week.

Fancy a nice iced Fancy?: My good friend L sent me this picture this week. It’s from a site called mini man, I think but unfortunately the link didn’t work. It did however lead me to musing on éclairs. Firstly I remembered that rare thing an intentionally funny dictionary citation, the éclair is described in Chambers as “a cake long in length but short in duration”. This is pleasing because it’s precise and humorous.

Also I took a surf and found that Éclair is from the French for lightning which some in interwebland seem to think reflects the shiny flash of chocolate icing; this is nonsense it refers to how long they last!

Lastly there was also some discussion as to what an éclair should consist of, well there’s no argument the perfect éclair should have chocolate icing and be filled with whipped cream, not crème patisserie, or chantilly cream or even heaven for fend butter cream. Nor should there be any coffee flavour in the icing or filling. If it comes on one of the fresh cream “naughty but nice” paper doilies with little blue cows on that would be perfect.

Not so dumb blonde: I was listening to my Dolly Parton cd this week. I was struck by what a perfect work song “9 to 5” is.

I would offer that it is the best hit work song. It is full insight and compassion for people (women) going about their daily grind, it’s also a really good catchy song. Why do C&W songs talk about work better than rock or even pop?

Is this because C&W is “blue collar and red neck” music? Rock is particular hopeless at every day work all the writers of “classic” tunes, the likes of Ray Davies, Paul Weller , Damon Albarn et al are rubbish at it. In fact they are usually disdainful and patronising about work. And give the impression that us wage slaves are complicit in our slavery. This would be fine if any of them had done a days work in their lives and didn’t write toss like “drink all day because the country’s at war”
Dolly on the other hand may not have slaved over a copier or sat through boring meetings in Luton but she has sung and performed to earn her crust since her early teens. This may have just given her more insight than, lechering your way through art school and then pestering groupies for a living.
Oh and lastly blond/e is one of the few gendered words we use in English,

To infinity and beyond: I was working in office last night that had a tiny 4 person lift, to make it seem like it had more space it was clad in infinity mirrors on all sides. This is a terrible thing to do to anyone, we all feel bad in morning but seeing ourselves disappearing into the distance makes it worse.

I remember a lift in friends' flat in Spain that had the same mirrors, it was really slow and stank of sewerage .

It was a terrible 3 minutes ride as you sank to earth, your head throbbing, you blood shot gaze illuminated by harsh strip light reflected back into infinity, the sickly stench of sewer turning your hung-over stomach.
That being said if you want to make your own go here.

Woody land walk: Like everybody with a new mp3 player (mine is on my phone) I have been rediscovering my cd collection. One of my current faves is “the best of Benny Goodman”. I was going to tell about how great “sing, sing “ is but this chap has already done it and he knows all the correct jazz mag words. I have found something out however, if you play Benny Goodman (or that matter any swing tune) whilst walking you immediately turn into a Woody Allen character.

So here’s BLTP “How to walk like Woody”™ cut out and keep guide.

1,Buy the best of Benny Goodman (usually less than a fiver)
2.Don one of those nice brown Armani coats they all wore in “Hanna and Her sisters”
3.Walk briskly down the high Street listening to Benny.
3.Meet up with Diane Keaton for coffee.

NB. You’ll have to supply your own witty philosophical voice over, also for a change Duke Ellington works just as well, especially the totally Woodytastic “take the A train”

Subterranean street sign semiology:

Saw this on the tube. Its for an interiors show, what struck about it was whatever, the appeal of Fearne Cotton (apart from the obvious) (wasn’t she rubbish on comic relief) she’s not my go to girl for paint tips. I don’t know if the photographer wanted to highlight this but she is holding a paint roller without anything to roll it in!
Lastly and in a puerile this say’s more about me that does about you sort of way, isn’t the strapline “smarten up your downstairs” a bit Les Dawson. It's like something Cissy and Ada would say “ she’s gone into the Royal to smarten up her (mouthing now ) door stairs.
Here is some classic Les for you.

CISSIE: "Leonard took some lovely photos... He's got a big Polaroid"ADA: "Ooh they can be painful - does it affect his balance."

"Marriage: The only union without a shop steward"

Sweet of the week: Cadbury chocolate éclairs not the cheapo knock off ones you get in pick and mix, mind.

Make sure everyone gets to see the cake: is the reason the Roux family have stayed at the top of the food world so long because Michel roux is really organised crime boss Hyman Roth (as played by Lee Strasburg)

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