Friday, 24 July 2009

Oh and portion of rage to go please:

On the Bench:

It was all quiet in the square at lunch time, the odd coo from the pigeons, the distant crackle of a bike courier’s radio and the odd annoying splash of rain on my paper from the trees above being the only sounds to disturb our reading & grazing. That is until a figure dressed in black and lime green stomped across the paving. A youngish woman with long blonde hair and a modish dress she headed for my bench sits down and angrily unpacked her noodle bar lunch.

Tucking in, her mobile chirrups and she swiftly dismisses the call and returns to her soup. Another warble from her phone which again is dismissed, a bit more angrily this time followed by more noodles and broth.

Then a third ring and she picks up the phone and in a fairly posh voice loudly tells the caller to

“F*ck off”

A Pause“Why?”

“Why? Why because you f*cked her that’s why”

Click and she hangs up.

Almost immediately another ring is dismissed.

Followed by another (God does love a trier) which she takes.

“look f*ck off” Click.

Her Spork is half way to her mouth when He (we are all assuming it’s a bloke aren’t we) Rings for the last time

“Look which bit….” Giving up her voice drains to a despairing growl and she hangs up seemingly switching off her phone completely as it stops ringing, that or Mr. lover boy has finally got the message (his type are often slow on the uptake.)

The ringing having stopped Ms Raging Ramen’s brooding silence slowly fills the square, like me I’m sure our fellow diners half expect more calls.But none comes; she just sits angrily eating her noodles. Noodles aren’t easy to eat in a rage not like say a crisp apple but I imagine the odd stray bean sprout stuck to her dress or slight drip of soup on her chin are the least of her problems today.

In quick time her ramen is finished as is her orange coloured smoothie (is vitamin C good for plotting revenge?) and she angrily dumped their containers and with equal drama picked up her bag and phone and still fuming marched off.
Just after she turned the corner a phone rings I don’t think it was her’s as there wasn’t a loud bang and a cloud of smoke and flames.


Cocktails said...

Is there really an eating implement called a spork? Come on, you must have made this up!

BLTP said...

sadly it's true, you must have seen them ?

Cocktails said...

oh god, yes, I should have known - for my parents owned splayds!