Wednesday, 8 July 2009

Chewing the fat


Pop Will Eat Itself
Originally uploaded by bltphoto

Meanwhile in the square

They clump across the square in matching “hotel” uniform, skirts and jackets, dirty blonde hair and heels, each one talking on their phones and each swinging a brown paper lunch bag from chain food outlet.
Calls over they tuck in.
(I can’t see whose talking but they proceed to talk relatively loudly)
1st woman: “Well, smoothies are perfect for me, coz you know how I don’t like chewing”
2nd woman: “Ermm yeah.”
2nd woman: “And ‘suppose it’s too hot for soup?”
1st woman: “yeah it’s strange I don’t really go for soup, its hard being a veggy, there’s not many flavours.”
Her friend then proceeds to reels off a list of increasingly exotic flavours all of which are rejecting for one reason or another; they both do this in an oddly serious manner.
2nd woman: (at last) “Well, that only leaves tomato and oxtail!”
1st woman: “Don’t really like tomato on its own”.
They pause for a moment
2nd woman: “So is that why you have porridge everyday, y’know the chewing thing”
1st woman: “No not really it’s because I come on the tube.”
At this the 2nd woman’s phone rings and I leave them to their ruminations.

6 comments:

Cocktails said...

What kind of person 'doesn't like chewing'?

And don't you (kind of) have to chew porridge?

Perhaps she should try babyfood. She could easily eat that on the tube too.

steve g said...

you just transcribed a script from A Bit of Fry and Laurie! that can't have been a real conversation!

Did you suggest gazpacho?

BLTP said...

sadly Sg it was scarily true!

Ex-Coventry Blogger said...

Does Lush Soup smell of over-perfumed bath balls?

Mr G. said...

Did she have a Welsh accent? There was that welsh lass on Big Brother once, who declared on national telly that she loved blinking. She might just have 'emotional reaction to bodily function syndrome' (ERBoFs?) or something.

BLTP said...

apart from jade Goddy , nasty nick and that chippy i doubt i would have recognized her but this one had a london accent. The thing that amazed me was the complete detachment of the whole thing. i saw her again the other day smoothie in hand steadfastly not chewing.