Now Delia dragged Nigella from her flat and beneath the blazing sun, They stood there face to face, and Delia went for her bun. But Nigella was too quick, things didn't go the way Delia planned, And a strawberry and cream shortbread sent it spinning from her hand.
Now Chris ran between them and tried to keep them apart, And Nigella, she pushed him aside and a cornish pastie caught her underneath her heart. And she looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust, Of a stale pork pie caught her in the eye and Nigella bit the dust. Poor Nigella, (Nigella aaaaaaa) And she cooked the fastest risotto in the west.
Nigella was only 49, she didn't wanna die, And now she's gone to bake her cup cakes in that TV kitchen in the sky. Where the customers are angels and ferocious TV critics are banned, And the TV cook's life is full of fun in that fairy, pastry land.
But a man's needs are many fold and soon Chris discovered Sophie Dahl, But strange things happened on their first cooking night as he tried her recipe. Was that the trees a-rustling? Or the hinges of the gate? Or Nigella's ghostly measuring cups a-rattling in their crate?
anon. 60's apple well there's the record label or that pie filling in tin that was made up of turnip and swede. 90's how about those rancid sour green apples you get in pick and mix bleurrgh!
5 comments:
Now Delia dragged Nigella from her flat and beneath the blazing sun,
They stood there face to face, and Delia went for her bun.
But Nigella was too quick, things didn't go the way Delia planned,
And a strawberry and cream shortbread sent it spinning from her hand.
Now Chris ran between them and tried to keep them apart,
And Nigella, she pushed him aside and a cornish pastie caught her underneath her heart.
And she looked up in pained surprise and the concrete hardened crust,
Of a stale pork pie caught her in the eye and Nigella bit the dust.
Poor Nigella, (Nigella aaaaaaa)
And she cooked the fastest risotto in the west.
Nigella was only 49, she didn't wanna die,
And now she's gone to bake her cup cakes in that TV kitchen in the sky.
Where the customers are angels and ferocious TV critics are banned,
And the TV cook's life is full of fun in that fairy, pastry land.
But a man's needs are many fold and soon Chris discovered Sophie Dahl,
But strange things happened on their first cooking night as he tried her recipe.
Was that the trees a-rustling? Or the hinges of the gate?
Or Nigella's ghostly measuring cups a-rattling in their crate?
Apologies to Benny Hill
very good :)
on a nearly related note, do you think I'm right with this apple list, and do you have any ideas to fill in the gaps:?
Apple of the 60s: ?
Apple of the 70s: Granny Smith
Apple of the 80s: Golden Delecious
Apple: of the 90s: ?
Apple of the 00s: Pink Lady
anon. 60's apple well there's the record label or that pie filling in tin that was made up of turnip and swede.
90's how about those rancid sour green apples you get in pick and mix bleurrgh!
The Braeburn, that was the apple of the 90s I reckon. For the 60s I'd probably go for Coxes Orange Pippen - when the pips still rattled in them.
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