Wednesday, 17 December 2008

I’m dreaming of a very white very posh Christmas

What we learned from tonight's telly:
a Christmas hamper of posh foodies


Nigella's Christmas kitchen: I decided to skip over the artifice of the whole affair and see if the food is any good; well she started off well with most of the programmes including hard liquor in various forms. Most cooking programmes are content to sniff the odd glass of wine (never beer mind) but Nigella made a martini with the merest hint of lychees liqueur in it which looked good.

Other cocktails just involved pouring booze into jugs excellent. The food was the usual over the top stuff all fairly doable. If you can bare a show with more theatrical winks than Frankie Howerd in summer season and parties full of Nigella's fake friends its harmless Christmassy fun. One thing did start to pall tonight they dubbed the hubbub of a party over the festive shots sadly it sounded more like a staff canteen than the noise the 6 or so people artfully snuggled round N's table would make.

Before Ms Lawson was a repeat of Rick Stein's Christmas food heroes which was the usual stuff Rick goes round the country enthusing about food not much to say really although I could have done without another lecture from Rick about people wanting cheap food, multi millionaire foodies like Rick and Hugh ex Etonian-complicated name going on how the rest of us should order our pheasants from the local wood is just tiresome.

Last up and most annoying is Willie's chocolate starfish Christmas Infomercial: this is one channel 4 annoying lifestyle programmes which is just an extended advert for which ever upper middle class twonk business is on the show. People complain about the poshness of Nigella's faux lifestyle when Willie's and his even posher wife's lifestyle is "real" and therefore even more tiresome filled with semi staged nonsense and shots of his ever so kath kidson aspirational posh people lifestyle (with every recipe with added chocolate of course).

One dodgy point earlier on Rick visited a stilton factory and had to wash and cleanse his hands etc before going in Willie blithely wanders onto his factory and starts doling out homemade mince pies to the his factory staff mmmmm lovely 80% coco butter chocolate with added spit, pastry crumbs and bacteria somebody call the environmental health. Or maybe these are faux eastern Europeans in his faux factory.

To finish off the tosh the film company shipped in a snow machine to gild that bit more the lives of Willie and his spoilt brood, gilded like his un-ironic gold flake encrusted (chocolate natch) cheese cake.

Sorry I'm forgetting myself this is the season of goodwill to all men but can't we make an exemption for poshboy ex ad men and there so called "cottage" industry foodie empires.

Oh and the hilarious killing the turkey story was lovely too.

4 comments:

telly nelly said...

the snow (machine) was irksome in the extreme. didn't know he was a refugee from adland... makes sense now, coulda been worse, coulda been a vineyard. tho less marching powder in the loire valley than venezuala. allegedly. etc. etc.

BLTP said...

Hi telly nelly, nice to have you along, I do find him tiresome , I think he's ad man or pr one of those delightful breed. Channle 4 are devils for these extended advert series.

Cocktails said...

Thanks BLTP, you've saved me a job here.

I watched bits and pieces of telly last night, including Hugh Wittingston-whatevers show and was thinking about musing on why we all (allegedly) want to watch this not just gastro-porn, but lets-go-out-and-kill/harvest/make-it-ourselves-and-cook-a-simply-scrumptious-meal-in-our-aga shows. I mean I am a poncey middle class girl who likes cooking, has an organic box delivery and would die for a posh kitchen but even I'm sick of this crap.

Went for the swearing option instead though.

al_uk said...

I love watching Nigella but its soft porn really. All those arched eye brows, whisking in front of her cleavage, lingering shots of her beautifully coloured lips as she eats dollops of cream, reaching for chili sauce labelled Hot, Hot, Hot, XXX!
At the Gym one evening I was watching the three TV screens they have, each set to a different channel. One was showing Nigella, one was showing Channel 4s excellent "Sex education Show" and the third was playing some RnB slow grind music video (which was coming over the loud speakers)The sound track to be honest could have quite easily been from any of three screens!