Thursday, 30 April 2009
Not sure it's a sign of anything at all she looked like an elderly Japanese lady and wearing masks to stop spreading germs is more prevalent in Japan. So she may have just been doing the normal thing.
But don't just sit their run, run you mad fools, start buying tinned fish and powdered egg, run, you fools......
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
The fact that WH Smith’s are to blame for this problem is almost a cliché; even when you walk up to the counter with half of Wonka’s sweet factory in your pudgy hands they still try to push cheap huge bars of Galaxy at you.
The new twist is however is that they were doing it last night in the hospital foyer branch of Smith’s I was in.
Being overweight is largely down to the choices we make ourselves but come on guys give people a break.
Monday, 27 April 2009
NO to Gemini Project :Spacia don't Clamp our dreams
Originally uploaded by bltphoto
A petition: We the undersigned believe that something got mislaid when some benighted, befuddled and possibly soulless fool took it upon themselves to rename the dug up and abused triangle urban grassland on the edge of Deptford the “Gemini project”.
Only to further trample on our dreams that little bit more when they filled this once green space with the ill-gotten gains of those magpies of the tar macadam: the clampers.
It can’t be just us that thinks that the original "Gemini project” even in all its cold war phallocentric (let's not mention Dr Von Braun) madness was a symbol of hope for humankind.The Gemini project showed Us at our best when we are striving, thinking, feeling, doing, creating, solving, seeking, looking and most all breaking free from this vale of tears and reaching out to touch the face if not of god of something a bit more thrilling and life enhancing than a car pound for errant Nissan Micras that just happened to clip a double yellow line.
We here by demand that the name “Gemini project” is changed immediately, what to we don’t care that much. Maybe to whatever Tom Cruise’s character was called in “Days of Thunder” anything really. Don’t get smart though “Sputnik” and “Mir” are out of bounds too, well anything to do with space really, what about “the flattened buddleia field project”.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
In the kitchen my first rhubarb of the year is bubbling away on the stove top, (the bloke in green grocers looked at me funny when I asked where it was from but he showed me the box any way and pleasingly it's from the right place) . So the whiff stewed fruit is mixing with the smell of roasting fennel. All this to the tune of this rather famous selection which I realised I hadn't heard all the way through. Then I heard Ms King talking about it last week on the radio and would you know there it was this morning, nestling (hardly unplayed) amongst the knock off long life lamps and playstation ones.
Out past my stereo the suns silhouetting the faux cupola of the school across the way. Which for a while now looks like it's become the home to some trapped south london damsel. As in louvres under the dome there's a piece of cloth trapped in slats. As the cloth flaps in the wind its like a plaintive cry for help.
The only thing to spoil this pleasant scene is the continuing boycott of my bird feeder by Deptford's avians. A rather thoughtfully sent it me and it's brimming with the finest birdseed that I schlepped all the way from Holborn but as yet no luck. I've spread some kernels on the ledge to tempt them in but as yet not peck, hang on there's some movement, oh no just a starling flying past.
So the big question for this evening hot or cold rhubarb with custard , cream or yoghurt?
Friday, 24 April 2009
.........It's all nonsense really when tonight has been so remarkable. Not sure where to start I was on George Formby's boat no that's not right, i was in this bar in no no.
let's see when I was seeing 400 blows I found out that Sea Power where playing the BFI tonight it was of course it was sold out but G suggested there'd be some returns. And wonderfully there was the marvelous J sold me his spare for the cover price J was excellent company (he'd seen the Truffaut at the same times as we did!) as well potato picking with soft machine which is maybe how he lost his finger.
Anyway some genius had organised British Sea Power to play the soundtrack to Man of Arran. by Robert J. Flaherty which was inspired to say the least. Not only are they the most maritime of power pop combos, they already have the sweaters!
They played a half hour set based loosely on The Great Skua from their last lp, to some excellent bird footage followed by the main film.
Sorry this is getting like a film class (I hope your taking notes as there's a test on Monday)round here but basically Man of arran is probably as good as film as 400 blows.!
It's an early docudrama, it's much discussed so I won't go into the the debate but basically Flaherty understood that sometimes truth is as important as fact and basically the film is really beautiful shot and surprisingly gripping. Some of the scenes of men fishing are incredible and seem to made up entirely of silver and black. a Remarkably poetic film.
BSP music matched really well with the right the dynamics , drama and lightness of touch some parts where quite moving.
I'll stop now great films are one thing but seeing my favourite band as well is rendering me monosylabic. Suffice to say it was good.
oh and on the warm evening with people laughing and ambling along the south bank I was reminded of what day it was by the office in the picture and looking down on the wine (more like stout)dark river, what wth Boris Johnson putting on folk gigs? and people in knitted chain mail handing out beer?
Are you more English when the tides out?
Are you less when the Thames comes rolling in?
and if I get my faced painted do I have to drink Becks?
and are you going to tell the lads on the train or should I that it won't still be the 23rd in the Bromley walkabout because "it's still yesterday in Australia".
Bless 'em they'd had a good day which is all you want really, it beats collecting sea weed off the sea shore or boiling up sharks for lamp oil or being chased through France with hammond organ player and a stolen case of the 45 you could loose a finger doing that...
Anyway night all.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
When international media outlets need strong decisive opinion where do they turn to?
Yes you guessed it, this tiny slightly dusty corner of interweb.
Who can blame them in a few short words you get zeitgeist surfing up to the minute bleeding edge tech reviews. But that’s not all, there’s gimlet eyed political satire, pithy and knowledgeable Pop culture commentary all topped off with a cherry of post-modern post-ironic cultural icon name dropping how could they resist!
That or it was Easter and everyone was on holiday!!
Next week the strangely blank looking Jess Cartner-Morley twitters BLTP for advice on whether “these shoes go with that new wrap I got, you know the one, the Azzedine Alaïa vintage retro looking one......”
Ps. anyone with any hint of Mario in them here's our flickr group I kinda like the repetitive visual rhythm of the thing.
Ahh aren't random made up as we go along traditions wonderful so in celebration of Cervantes , Billy Shakenstevenspeare, spring, fine ale and of course Robots here's my new film!
Please be gentle as you step on my onions!
Warning contains scenes of mild terror, dodgy sepia and musical saw playing.
No garlic was injured in the making of this film well maybe a little bruised.
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
...It might just change your life!
I waited over night to see if I still felt/think the same way and I do.
This may be old news (it came out in 1959) but if you haven't seen Les quatre cents coups (400 blows) by François Truffaut you should make sure it's the next film you see.
We saw it last night at the BFI and I was frankly smitten by the end of titles. I would suggest also you see it at a cinema, don't worry it won't be full of texters and crisp munchers (unless they think it's Jacky Chan film) and it looks wonderful, so deserves a big screen showing.
It's the tale of the downward path unwillingly taken by a bright charismatic young Parisian 13 year old. It's difficult to say what's best about the film:
It's very similar to Kes (I'm sure Ken loach has admitted the influence) so what's not to like.Lastly it's not overly worthy (or long!) and has a famously powerful if ambiguous ending.
Special big thanks to G for sorting out the tickets and for listening to me prattle on as usual but you really should see the Beastmaster!
Sunday, 19 April 2009
It really is an other world the hack Eva Wiseman does try some self depreciation (it would seem the only other option available was a short drive to beyond the pale eg outside The M25!) but it doesn't last longer than the first line.
I know we shouldn't rely of media/fashion industry airheads for moral or environmental guidance but this does seem particularly shallow. I can't believe it even makes financial sense (unless some one else is paying). Just another example of how trite the Observers/Guardian has got.
God love Nigel Slater but he does sometimes push the gushing foodie envelope too far. We presumably have to fly to Portland for this one as well Nige.
"have taken to eating my passion fruit with a soft, slightly sharp mixture of crème fraîche and natural yogurt dusted* with coconut palm sugar. With flavours of fudge and coconut, this artisan-made, sustainable sugar is made from the nectar of the coconut palm flowers. For more information try www.specialityfoods.org.uk. Light muscovado is a more accessible stand-in."
* you can use a peacock feather for this if you haven't got any apes or ivory available..
Friday, 17 April 2009
NO sorry miss posh big buttons (Kirstie Alsopp) it was you the Daily Mail, andTony Blair: who ruined housing in Britain
Chelsea & Leeds: it was you who ruined football.
Green & Black: it was you who ruined chocolate.
Moustachioed former military man Mr Pringles: it was you who ruined crisps
Nazi Lego: it was you who ruined toys
Made up corporate nonsense Hagen Daz it was you who ruined ice cream.
Imperial Airship Scheme (specifically the R101): it was you who ruined Airship development in the UK.
Dear god make it stop they’ve made a new series and they can’t even get an actor to do a London accent and they are now doing best of clips shows showing how terrible it is reminiscing about the characters as if they are A good and B real! Make it stop please make it stop the actors are all 40 now pretending to be 19, farting just isn’t that funny, they cancelled “Pulling” for this?: 2 pints of lager and a packet of crisps*: You not only ruined TV, you despoiled large areas of the north west, devalued Greggs the bakers and caused blindness and dandruff in parts of equatorial guinea yet to charted. You are also on after Family Guy so I sometimes can’t turn over in time and see 3 horrifying seconds of your under written over played faintly patronising crud I hope you all eat dodgy shellfish or get a hotel room with nylon sheets when you’ve not cut your toe nails or get one of the faulty sky boxes that break all the time or end up at dinner sat next the one off “loose women” who use to be married to Chris Evans and she’s whingeing about paint finishes and child care and you want to pick you teeth but you can’t and so you secretly try to dislodge the lump of corn but you just start to drool even more and so you have to sit there listening to her go on about vintage paint and organic chicken nuggets but the corn is widening the gap in your teeth and you want to stretch your legs but you kicked that horsey women across the way last time you did it and she scowled at you so your legs are starting to cramp and now it’s light switch surrounds and playdates and your legs ache and your glass is empty and the corn is still there and the horsey women just moved the wine out reach and last time you asked she gave you another look as if to say haven’t you had enough but at least at least you’re not watching Two pints of lager and a packet of crisps eating Thai green curry flavoured wholemeal Pringles.....
*Also can I ask what sort order is two pints of lager who goes to pub and shares 1 packet of crisps it wasn’t that funny in the song?
Thursday, 16 April 2009
In the paper today there's a slightly snippy review of the new Nintendo DSi. The reviewer clearly is the only person in the world apart from Tony Blair (and possibly old Moonface from keane) not to have a bit of Mario in him!
Here's BLTP's Official DSi Review :
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
A nice sunny day so I’m sat in the square watching the local Muslim guys going to their mosque summoned seemingly by the bells of the St Albans Catholic Church. Next to me a grey haired (retired?) looking woman is slowly eating an entire honey dew melon.
In a pool of sunlight on the paving nearby a pigeon walks about for almost minute with crisp packet on its head**.
The pigeon is shoed away by couple of teenagers walking an invisible dog.... oh and my tuna on wholemeal turned out to be turkey salad on white.
* Did a session for Peel in 1983, one single for Cherry Red, bass player now builds narrow boats in Skipton
*Damn my thick fingers couldn’t get to my phone in time.
Monday, 13 April 2009
I don’t believe in pleasure being guilty but there’s a hint of something not entirely worthy about liking sword and sorcery films. So I did try not to enjoy “King Arthur” on BBC1 just now. It got panned when it came out and now I regret not seeing it as it’s a huge trifle of a film, full of all the nonsense you want from the genre.
Let’s tick off the essentials for great Sword Sorcery film.
Spurious historical setting Tick
Rampant anachronisms Tick
Random mummerset accents Tick
Sketchy understanding of British geographyTick
Hot feisty fighting babes in artful leather gear and not entirely suitable for chilly Albion filmy gauze of the shoulder dresses (with strangely hot posh accents) Tick
Rubbish fake snow Tick
English character actors busily chewing the scenery Tick
Appeals to truth, beauty and nebulous freedom Tick
Ray Winston back to his “we use to be fast “Robin of Sherwood best “Do we have problem” indeed Tick
It even had a cool fantasy novel mapTick
Top stuff to look out for:
Stellan Skarsgård as mad eyed Saxon Fascist full of suitably glum Scandinavian gloomy depression and random violence.
A cool pet hawk nicked from 80’s classic the Beastmaster
Oh and some fighting on a frozen lake nicked from Serge Eisenstein
I’ve only just recently caught up Half Man Half Biscuit’s latest LPs. As usual I’m sorry I waited as just now it gave a perfectly balanced near karmic moment. My messed up travel plans meant I was short of the odd comestible and my usual green grocer was closed for the Bank holiday. So I trudged shamefaced to Iceland. Now Kerry Katona's greasy larder is no worse or better than other cheap supermarkets, it’s just they seem too obsessed with multi buys. It’s doubtful whether you should one eat of their chicken breasts let alone 12 for the price of six. They also only stock comically huge bottles pop and bundles of "nearly Twixes "strapped together in 10’s probably to stop them running about under the freezers.
Anyway they do sell onions and leeks so I managed a reasonably healthy basket but was still feeling rubbish, when on my head phones came “ on Westminster Bridge” by Nigel and the lads and I almost spat across the frozen pizza and onto the knock off magnum cabinet. I then had to try to queue at the till without too much smirking. I was put in such a good mood I didn’t even mind the woman who pushed in front and then got her kid to fetch umpteen things while we all waited.
I tried sitting in the park soaking up the flickers of sun were having and listening some more but could not stop grinning, so skedaddled home.
So do yourselves a favour get the Doves albums but also some HMHB just don’t listen to it in Iceland, B&Q, Matalan, while playing Yahoo chess or possible on Westminster bridge.
Did I mention the bit were the woman with 6 bags of oven chips and a pot of basic coleslaw gave me a look and then went back to texting?
I’m gonna feed our children non-organic food
And with the money saved take ‘em to the zoo
Sunday, 12 April 2009
So how’s your Easter Sunday going?
Mines been patchy: tight in the arms of Morpheus this morning there’s a knock at the door, I stumble out and into some clothes to be greeted at 10 to 9 by a grinning evangelist “good morning sir have you heard the love of our lord Jesus”. Now the sort of miss guided fervour that drags bible botherers out of their beds to pester us sinners at officially ungodly hours also seems to rob them of knowledge of Christmas cracker jokes so I was rather pleased to drag up “sorry mate I don’t but if you start humming it I’ll join when I get the tune!” Anyway I forgo a hot cross bun for breakfast that’ll teach Jehovah and all his sleep disturbing followers no sacrifice of spicy buns in this house.
The only piece of evangelism I’m up for today is to rave about the new doves LP which is cracking after 3 listens I’m hooked. It’s full of great swelling addictive tunes and startling changes of pace, I should rush out to nearest inter web and get a copy it’s almost as good as a kinder surprise.
Are you going to Hammersmith fair?
Anyway after doing some lolling around I head out which where things go pear shaped (or pie shaped in the words of the great Tony Mortimer) as all the over land trains were cancelled from New Cross.They didn’t tell me this when they sold me my Travel pass yesterday. So I get the tube replacement bus to Surrey docks. But this apparently is some sort extended joke at travellers expense because today the Jubilee line wasn’t running. After some swearing pointless but it cheered me up I wander off/
So I’m left at a closed surrey docks (even cocking Tesco was shut) with no hope of meeting people in Hammersmith (reduced trains out of Waterloo half the rest of the tube closed). Sorry for the rant but it’s all hopeless, it makes living in London like living in some forgotten sink estate up on some moor somewhere, at least there you can go down the rec and burn some pallets or train your kestrel it’s pathetic.
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme.....
Anyway getting back home Groundhog day is on to mock me, so in order to achieve summat I pot up all the plants I got for My birthday which cheered me up no end particularly as I listened to the Doves again.
Anyway if you got this far you deserve a treat so here’s the Doves and Vic and Bob down the Rec.
Friday, 10 April 2009
I had profitable day off on a recent Friday, got lots of my weekend jobs done etc and also got first dibs at the records down the market. I was little perturbed by a kindly older black guy who seemed to think crate diving was collaborative affair and that if “I saw anything good to pass it over” clearly he’s a new comer. There are strict rules to this sort of thing sharing booty being not one of them. In his defence I think he thought I wouldn’t be interested in Frank Sinatra etc. Fortunately he left some gems for me.
One of my haul inspired this idea it’s by Ray Martin, that’s him looking fab in the picture. His record is called Piccadilly 2am it’s from the late 50’s and is redolent of a time I’m not sure ever really existed. Take a look at the sleeve notes when you see Piccadilly now with its burger kings and sports super stores you have wonder where all these clubs were. London is still not great for grown up late night entertainment, we recently ended up in a faux Irish place that’s were the wag club used to be. All we wanted was a late drink. It wasn’t too bad but it was too loud and amusing as the American exchange students who filled the place were it would be good to have a bit wider choice.
Anyway the LPs fell into a nice little sequence some classic Motown to get titivated and check you seams to.
Ray Martin Piccadilly 2am.
Thursday, 9 April 2009
I know the Police have a hard, sometimes thankless and at times crappy job to do but this sort of things needs transparently investigating and clearing up.
It seems they’ve found the guy involved the irony being if the roles had been reversed (and a PC injured or worse) “the brave hero bobby” would have been starring out of the Evening Standard in hours.
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
It's why the queen gives away little bags of money today, which seems like a big deal but imagine if she washed a few of her subjects feet every year! Maybe we should take the example of that dirty trot Jesus and throw over a few money lenders tables that and be more thoughtful to a few more people.
Why not do something for Oxfam or pester your MP to press for change in whatever concerns you.
Anyway consider these tunes virtual foot spas for your soul (soles). Is the Air france tune the most niche holiday song ever?
I should check out the whole Lp it's sort of summery with a feel like cumbrian Hip hoppers Aim it's rather good.
Maundy thursday : Air France
Monday, 6 April 2009
If you will permit me one more gush of solipsism (apart from the rest of my endless virtual ramblings that is)
I’d just like to record the last few days in brief.
Being a spring baby I’m sure my mood improves even more when the clocks go forward and Friday was such a lovely day; after a little light shopping drinking the odd beaker in the sunshine with BLBW was a simple joy followed by Damned United and some more beakers all rather marvellous. On the train home I even got a song and a “alcopoppy” kiss from 2 other birthday girls on their way back panda eyed but happy to Kent, happy birthday ladies.
No party is any fun unless seasoned with folly.
The only down note for the whole weekend was TFL closing the DLR seeming without notice which was annoying but “work roundable”.
Like other parties of the kind, it was first silent, then talky, then argumentative, then disputatious, then unintelligible, then altogether, then inarticulate, and then drunk. When we had reached the last step of this glorious ladder, it was difficult to get down again without stumbling.
Some thank yous: Thanks to everyone who came especially anyone who battled with the M1 (and then the DLR) or the National Express (on either tires or steel wheels!)
Thanks to everyone for just coming but also for being laden with good things I am guiltily happy and grateful.
Extra special thanks to A and L for cakes.
I am thankful for the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends. Nancie J. Carmody
Can I also make a plug for the Duke in Roger St. The term “gastro pub” is a much bandied around and frankly has become so devalued it may not be worth using but the food at the Duke is really good; perfectly cooked, decently portioned and not overly gussied up. If you just want a drink the beer’s good too (sorry there’s no black sheep left!) I’m told they also sell wine (never drink the stuff myself made in France don’t cha you know, nothing good will come of it). The Duke is a little 30’s gem in a quiet bit of town that’s well worth a (art) deco!
“Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.”
Friday, 3 April 2009
So there you go, it's my Birthday today and I think this is my 800th post which is a nice coincidence.
Anyway love to you all, take care.
I'm off to see some Russian spiky paintings at the TATE and see if Cloughie still wins the European cup on the years Bob Paisley didn't and probably have pint or two of pride.
If you want something fun to do today why no see how many great tunes you can play but only on coloured vinyl.
Managed 4 already.
squeeze, the undertones, spritualized, madness.
And to show willing (even though I've never understood why it's the way round it is) consider the following my virtual cakes in the office thing! I suppose if it was cake in would be faintly biblical in flavour something made with almonds and honey and perhaps a hint of Saffron. Sorry if it's a bit obvious but sometimes the best things are right under your noes.
Turn! Turn! Turn!: The Byrds
Noon update:the ever generous Mr Mondo sends proof that the 70's weren't brown or even black with this top vivid vinyl as always Pm good work fella. nice turntable mate makes my rega look a bit plain.
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
The G20 protestor have had there first victory, I got a seat on the train this morning (due to the thinned numbers of commuters out off by the fear of ravening hordes) hurrah!
At Cannon Street the forces of reaction were out in force checking tickets presumably because Austrian anarchist aren’t organised enough to buy an oyster!
He’s not the messiah he’s a slightly charmless former goal scorer.
Going down Ludgate hill there was a crocodile of Geordie teenagers (how do you think I know there were members of Toon army!?) presumably off to St Pauls to give thanks for the appearance of the true Messiah. Having worshipped many false prophets in the past the "real" chosen one has appeared in time for Easter presumably to try and turn some day old stotties cakes and a little fishy on a little dishy into enough points not to get relegated.
La Lucha really does Continua!